Listening Intentionally

Happy Monday!

A few weeks ago I wrote on being intentional with our actions, but as I thought about it more, there are so many different ways to be intentional. It could be with our loyalties, or being positive. So over the next few weeks I will highlight a few different ideas on being intentional, today is listening.

It is hard to believe that it is going to September this Friday, summer has sped by and now we are looking winter in the face (oh wait, I mean fall.).  The shorter days, and going to work in the dark will soon be here, its time to take advantage of these days and plan them to your benefit.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the disaster and life-threatening events that hit Texas this weekend with Hurricane Harvey. If you haven’t and you are able, please donate to the Red Cross to help everyone out who needs it by clicking the button below, thanks! 

This weekend I had the opportunity to go see friends and family in Arizona for a short trip. It was the first birthday celebration for another miracle whose name is Fitz; I’ll highlight Fitz in a later blog, what a story he already has in his first year of life. I was helping set up for his party and I had listened to all the music I cared to listen to, so I opened the app for my church and selected a sermon and pressed play. I don’t even remember which sermon it was (SorryTy), but my Pastor Ty started to talk about trust, and he went deep into listening to each other. It made me think about a few things in how I listen to others.

How often during a conversation with someone do you spend the time they are talking actively listening to him or her? Are you paying attention to them, or are you forming your response to them or thinking about how their situation isn’t all that bad and you’ve seen worse? Or perhaps someone is talking to you, and you just need to get that one thing done today and so instead of stopping what you are doing, you try and listen while still working on that task?

I know this is something I struggle with; I routinely fall into one of the scenarios above, especially with my employees. There is a fine line that you have to walk with others when you have an “open door policy”. You MUST have clear boundaries that identify the conversations that are pertinent and need to be had versus the water cooler talk can be skipped. Once you have set your boundaries and an employee (friend, family member random stranger, this applies to so many different situations) brings up a topic that falls in the scope of acceptability, it is time to listen to them. There may be times when you have to ask them to come back at a different time but when that time comes we truly need to give them the attention that they deserve. If we say that we have an “open door policy” then we need to treat it as such. Ignoring an employee or giving them our full attention only spreads the perception that you can’t be bothered with them, and can lead them to not come talk to you in times when they really need to.

This is a skill that I will intentionally be working on in the coming weeks, as I know it is a weakness that I have. I would like to venture and say that if you become an active listener with your employees that their engagement and willingness to be part of the solution will rise dramatically. No one likes to be ignored, and the more times we as managers do not give those few moments of time fully to our employees we lose the connection we have with them. This is also true for any relationship we have, work or personal. So this week take a little extra time to pay attention to those who seek you out, if like me you struggle with this, try a little bit harder it will be worth it.

Hope everyone has a great Monday and a productive week!