Starting...... Over....

Last night I was hanging out with one of my best friends Daniel and catching up with a friend from my childhood and his wife. It was great to catch up and see what has been going on over the last 15 years since we had seen each other. I was taken a back by something my friend's wife said, "The worst thing you can say to me is that I'm wrong, it makes me feel stupid." This is something I have to disagree with, being wrong has nothing to do with being stupid. Being wrong can be a learning experience, it can make you a better person. You can be working off assumptions or just working with outdated information, conclusions made in these cases doesn't make you stupid, just wrong. So here I am admitting that I was wrong. 

On the first post I wrote on this site I said that "starting is the hardest  part", well a wiser, older Josh disagrees with that statement. So I was wrong, sorry. I now know that while start is hard, starting over is much harder. Three weeks ago I thought that my life was almost as good as it could be. I had a loving girlfriend who adored me and who was planning the rest of her life with me. I had a job that while being frustrating was going to open doors to our dreams and make them a reality. Two weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me unexpectedly and without any signs of being unhappy. So today I still have the frustrating job, but not sure what to do with it or the ever increasing hole in my heart. I don't know whether to turn to the left or the right, I just know I can't go backwards. Now I have to begin the process of starting over, I have to find a new dream, a new motivation all the while fighting off strong feelings of confusion and abandonment.

I now will have a lot of free time that I never imagined having. I have decided to do a few things with that time. I've decided to get a bike and start riding it every day to always have a constant source of exercise, I've decided to read more books and become more informed about everything. Lastly I'm going to get a pilots license so I can go flying. I believe that these things and other that I will find in the coming months will effectively occupy my time.

I'm sure that future Josh may come up with something better, but right now for me starting over is the hardest thing.